The founder of this illustrious blog, the Mayor for Life, moved to the Northern Virginia Suburban Nightmare in the spring of 2008, and a year later to NE Capitol Hill, also known as the Northeasy. She moonlights as an “independent contractor,” whatever that is, and enjoys staying inside and watching PBS. Her favorite alcoholic drink to soothe the pain of living in Baloneyland is the Hemingway Daiquiri. And if you refer to DC as “stabby” in her presence, she will cut you.

The Loveable Misanthrope migrated to Baloneyland in 2009 for two internships while also hosting trivia night at various DC bars 3 nights a week in order for her liver to remain “well stocked.” The Misanthrope eventually said “fuck it” and left for Southern California, where she doesn’t leave the house on weekends because she has important episodes of Ancient Aliens and Doctor Who to catch up on. She sips Mi’Chelada on the beach while laughing at those of us who still live here.

Pierre L’Enfant Terrible immigrated to the DC in 2011 and liked moving so much that he decided to do it twice more over the course of the following year.  Like the real Pierre L’Enfant, he’s fallen into disgrace and spends much of his time petitioning Congress for monetary sums he claims he is owed.  When not, he enjoys a nice lambic while working on a slang term for the bags of dog waste that festoon wrought iron fences in and around the Capitol Hill neighborhood.  Is leaning toward “Capitol Hill Christmas stockings,” but is open to a more secular suggestion.

The Commissioner of Sewers was trained in the arts of escrima, large-bore pistol marksmanship and découpage by a wise old musk ox who lives under the Poplar Point Pumping Station. He enjoys drinking bullshots while staring at a Dreamachine and listening to Wendy Carlos.

Thearbiterofallthingsevenslightlyracial is an attitudinal black girl from da hood.  She poses as an intellectual in Baloneyland yet proves a pedestrian, shallow dilettante whilst solo.  Her favorite spirits are red wine (particularly Pinot Noir and Shiraz, as of late) Cadillac margaritas, and dirty martinis (which she orders “extra dirty” with an impish giggle). One day she aspires to live in Baloneyland with a common-law husband, a dog, a cat, and a parrot.  Tis the only way she can afford it, ya know?  Hell, by then, even the parrot will need to have a job and kick in some rent. 

Acknowledgements: The Mayor for Life would like to thank the Eye-Rolling Boyfriend for Life for all of his support, including proofreading, research and fact-checking.